Okay, time to get this blogging thing started. The conversation must continue....or start...or whatever.
Over the last number of months, my wife and I have been considering the concept of "community" in the church setting. More than that, we've been discussing what draws people TO a community. I've been reading (and re-reading) a number of books on Christian community. Naturally there are the classics (Life Together - Bonhoeffer, etc.), but there are also some new books, like Joe Myer's "Organic Community" (which is a bit extreme in spots, but the points are made well.)
Last week, I spent two days at a conference for work. I serve on a "Partner Advisory Council" meeting (PAC) for Microsoft. For the past three years, I have been on that PAC with the same guys (and one lady who is a sweetheart), and it has become a quarterly meeting that we really look forward to. We have a common goal -- to improve the quality and solution set in a particular collection of Microsoft products. We have a common background -- mostly Enterprise Systems Integrators. We only meet quarterly, but most of the 25 guys on the PAC have become very close friends. We keep in touch via e-mail, and when we are in the same town (whether for an event, a business trip, etc.) we try and gather for a meal. As I was driving home on Wednesday night, it struck me that I am in community with these people. More than that, it is a community in which I can say what is on my mind. I can be me. I can argue without disresepcting. I can laugh. Moreover, I can accept that others in the group have significant things to offer.
So, what are most small group ministries in churches missing? (Including the small groups ministry at my own church) Why do I look forward to meeting with the PAC more than my weekly small group? I don't claim to have an answer to this....I just claim to be thinking about it. **GRIN**
First and foremost, the PAC meeting is not forced intimacy. When I was brought in, I was not told, "These are your family, and you will share intimate thoughts with them because they can be trusted. " (I'm not saying that's how it was in our church small group, but that's sure the intention.) With the PAC, I was placed in an environment that "enabled" intimacy. For two days a quarter, we sit in a locked room (well, not LOCKED locked, but I think the point is made) and discuss our businesses, our experiences, and get some teaching/training/marketing hype along the way. We share meals together. We get various gifts/trinkets for serving on the PAC, usually with an MS logo and the name of our PAC. Bags, backpacks, jackets, etc. We do social events together...like sushi bars, or seeing a show -- something completely unrelated to our businesses or to the PAC itself.
Community happens.
I do not believe that there is a recipe for community. But, I also don't think that getting together once a week, and going through some silly fill-in-the-blank workbook and talking pat answers about life's questions is a way of doing it either. I want meat in my relationships. I want to be able to say, "Hey, this is what I'm learning. This is how I'm growing. This is what I'm really struggling with.", and I want to have people in the group actually DISCUSS it with me. Instead of saying, "Okay, moving on to the next topic."
What are your thoughts? What are the keys to community that you have found?
